Little boxes
Last night after the Sonic Youth show in Prospect Park, there was little to do. John chatted with me through a camera lens. This morning, I played back the conversation and then promptly deleted it.
Does everyone feel uncomfortable when they witness their own movement and speech in this way? I suppose not, since nowadays everyone is an Internet video star, but it makes me quite unhappy. I prefer a different self.
My recorded self is decidedly Asian in appearance. The shape the mouth takes when speaking is distracting. It’s not a lopsided mouth, but it’s small. And embarrassed. The body language is too self-conscious. Is this how others see me?
Today I think the casual, real-life self is the most careless self. I could argue that it’s also the most genuine self, but I don’t believe it. The written self is the most authentic self. At least for me. At least this morning.
There should be less face-to-face, spontaneous speech in the world. Talk is so noisy.
[ talking in prospect park ]