A Pretty Ship

Some Rules to Live By [Part 2]

1. High School is the easiest thing you will ever do in your life.
2. Most people are not good house guests.
3. You will not die if you don’t eat lunch once in a while.
4. No one likes a grouch. [Of all people, I should know!]
5. You are never required to make friends with your co-workers.
6. But you should develop interests.
7. A Bachelor’s degree means nothing. [Of all people, I should know.]
8. And a Master’s degree does not make you smart. [John tells me so.]
9. But you should still try to get both.
10. Every house should have a cork screw.
11. It’s probably smart to have life insurance.
12. Limit your time on the Internet.
13. Listen to music.
14. Know that you are not above any job or any person.
15. You are not perfect just the way you are. [Always strive to be better.]

President Obama passes bill that outlaws [misused, overused, and just plain dumb] phrases/expressions:

• It’s all good.
• First things first
• Right on. (Right on.)
• You know?
• Random (anything)
• Not for nothing
• Throw under the bus
• Facebook me.
• It is what it is.
• Going green
• Urban (when used by anyone who is not a city planner or appointed government official, but even then, things can get a little messy)

My husband [for the record]:

• My husband does the dishes every day.
• He never yells at the tv computer screen when the Rockies lose [or win].
• He has never been to a strip club.
• He does not get drunk.
• He is a good listener.
• And also he listens well.
• He prefers my looks au naturale.
• He does not ogle other women [in my presence].
• He snuggles me a lot.
• He is the smartest person I know and is always striving to be better.
• He has never said one mean thing to me on purpose.
• He eats vegan and runs the park to stay healthy and also slim.
• He is very complimentary.
• He does his own laundry and prepares his own food.
• He has nice, quiet manners.
• He pets my head when I most need it.
• He does not tell disgusting jokes.
• Fart? I wouldn’t be able to say.
• He is a very good singer.
• He is a very, very good poet.
• And he leaves me [love] emails most every workday morning.

Some Rules to Live By [Part 1]

10 preferences or behaviors that were picked up or adopted from other people and which have not left me yet.

10. Bread on the left. Drink to my right. Napkin on lap.
9.  Hostess gifts [though not so much since we moved to NY bc we don’t go to   anyone’s home]
8.  Cleaning my rugs with spray cleaner & hand [1st] and with packing tape [2nd]
7.  Using brackets where parentheses would work just fine
6.  Arial font
5.  Cracking soda [which I am not supposed to consume] can tabs just enough to allow the liquid to pour out, but not enough to spill
4.  Disdain for noisy shoes on concrete
3.  General disregard for shaving [but I’m not hairy, I swear!]
2.  Car-hate
1.  Blogging